| | So looking around Oshkosh, there is not only like nothing to do but sit around home watching TV, playing video games, and what not. Or the occassionally outing to the movie theatre, there are apparently no jobs that people are willing to hire me for. *sighs* I'm getting headaches everyday and I'm not exactly sure what from; stress I guess.
I'm stressed out about not having enough money. Which is a common concern among most adults. And considering where I live I have more growing concerns. Obviously the raisng gas prices aren't helping anyone's mood of late and now the governor wants to raise our taxes even more. Raising the tax on heath care, on hunting and fishing licenses, on alcohol and cigarettes (which I don't mind the latter of the two since i don't smoke and think its a filthy habit) Oh and get this he wants to raise the taxes on College Applications, didn't even know such a thing existed, but since they tax everything in our lives from cradle to grave why should it surprise me.
Seriously, what good are these raises in taxes going to do the State? The deficiet is only going to get bigger, and the need to raise them again will soon rear its ugly head again. its a vicious cycle. You know why I think this is? We are allowing politicians to run the state, who are supposed to have their heads on their shoulders and know what they are doing. but really, how many of them do you think have Business degrees? How are they supposed to run an entire state or the country for that matter if they would run a small business into the ground? *sighs*
I'm stressed out because I'm not sure anymore if i'm on the right career path for me. I'm not entirely sure I want to be a teacher, yet what I want to do takes an awful lot of talent and a great deal of luck to pull off. If i was as great a writer as J.K. Rowling I would have started publishing my books and that would be the end of it. I wouldn't have to work, I'd invest the money and live off the interest and eventually set my parents up so that dad could retire and my younger sisters would be able to go to college for whatever they want. But, that's all just nice dreaming. Don't think it would ever happen for me. Like I said you've gotta have a lot of talent and a great deal of luck.
For now i'm staying on this career path, yet I have to fork out extra money for a test i have to retake before I can take my area certifaction test which will cost even more money. No wonder I've got headaches like everyday.
Though is it so wrong to want to enjoy life while I can? I won't be young forever. Carpe Diem comes to mind at the moment. Yet in my life its hard to seize the day the way I want to. For me it means get on the ball, get a job, make as much money as you can. That's just want it means because of the way society wants it mean for me. Really Seize the day should be get out and have fun with life because you only get one. Take hold of the moments that come by and embrace them for what they are. Now getting stuck in a dead end job, even just for the summer, doesn't sound like Seizing the Day to me.
I don't know, maybe i'm just selfish to think that life should be easy. Well you know? it should be, we as a society are making it harder on ourselves and on each other. We fight and bicker with little provocation. Marriages break up almost as quickly as they start. The richer are getting richer and the poorer are getting poorer, that gap has always been there, but i can almost feel it and its getting bigger. And there are so many more wrong things in the world than there are right. It makes me want to punch something, it makes me want to scream, and run, and cry out in frustration and anger, at the top of my lungs, WHY?!
And i know it will make no difference if I do. I'd be listed as crazy and shipped off to some mental institute. because there's something wrong with me. Because something must be wrong with me to act like that. Yeah what's wrong is that I'm sick and tired of all the bullshit we put each other through. of all the lies, the cheating, the anger, the jealousy, the selfishness. I'm just fucking tired.
I'm surprised more people don't have headaches everyday. |
| | Posted 5/15/2007 12:23 PM - 1 View - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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