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leela_nightheart
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Name: Jen
Gender: Female
Interests: amtgard, anime, role playing games, writing, reading, violin, music, learning new languages, poetry, many other things.
Expertise: Violin, or at least I'd like to consider myself an expert. I've been playing for over 10 years now and I still find it an enriching experience. Though I don't mind playing classical, I usually tend to play Irish fiddle music when I don't have a concert that I need to be practicing for.
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
12/19/2005
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| Another poem i wrote, though I don't have a date for it, I know I wrote it at some point during 2005.
Its the beast beneath the skin
laying dormant deep within.
Its the ghoul that lies in wait
building strength to smash the gate.
Its the monster in your mind
using everything it can find.
Its an evil within us all,
just aiming to make us fall.
Its the ogre that causes us pain
though we know it can be slain.
Anger is this everyday demon we must face
and there are no prizes for second place. | | |
| I've decided to share some of my poetry. I don't think it will ever make me money and they were written because I needed to get my complex feelings out in the most complex way I could to get my point across.
Silenced by War has got to be one of my favorite poems. Its not in any set meter, nor rhyme scheme, it just is... if you don't like it that's fine but don't flame me for a poem that I wrote for me and not for the benefit of anyone else. I also warn you that its by far the most depressing I've ever written and the longest.
"Silenced by War"
I walk out onto the quiet battlefield
where only days ago machine guns blared.
Not a bird in the sky nor squirrel in the tree.
The nests abandoned.
I used to hear the sweet call of the little blue bird
and the chattering of the squirrel.
Now there is only silence to accompany this forlorn place.
This is the aftermath of war and hatred;
Nearby flows a babbling brook that still runs
red with blood.
But it seems that I have gone deaf
for i do not hear the gentle language it speaks.
The weeping willow, just ten yards away
used to sooth me while it whispered in the wind.
Now the wise old tree is as silent as the brook
and I year to hear its sweet advice.
This was "no man's land" in the great war
where thousands died between the trenches.
The trenches are now rat infested, rodents teaming
over the bodies of the forgotten deceased.
So many killed, most by machine guns and mortor.
But for what?
Money, Power, and Control?
Useless material pursuits.
Now there is only the grieving for the lost loved ones.
The sun does not shine anymore since the great conflict.
Its soft warm glow soothed me once, long ago
on cool autumn days.
The flowers that once praised the sun
showing their elegant petals to the great yellow orb,
Now bow their heads and their petals fall
like tears that roll down a soft cheek.
The landscape is grey and barren.
As I walk through this gloomy meadow
where i used to be happy,
I notice how everything here is quiet
and I wish it wasn't so.
This land was a beautiful place where i could come to relax.
But now, as I wonder along the brook,
and then sit by the old willow, my old companions
I realize that this place has forever been
silenced by war and I weep.
This poem was first written on January 16th, 2002 after seeing images of WWII. And I've changed a few things to make it more coherent here, but its much the same the message has not changed at all.
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| I just want to start off... I miss Keith. I told him to go have fun with his friends and have a guys night out. Doesn't mean it makes me miss him any less but at least it lets both of us know that I have the capability to not be selfish with his time. I'm sure I'll see him in the next few days so its not the end of the world.
Well tonight was a very very painful house meeting. We had our elections so that took up a lot of time, which while understandable because we want good people in each position in the house WE DON'T NEED TO REPEAT A POINT 20 TIMES BEFORE FINALLY VOTING ON AN ISSUE!!!!!! Sorry I just get really upset that people don't seem to ever listen to each other and then they prove it by simply restating what someone had previously said. *sighs*
I'm mostly just typing this to vent because i'm PMSing really bad and I don't really want to vent to others right now because frankly I think I would scare them. (Though hugs are nice...) Anyway, it didn't help that going into that house meeting I was already really on edge, in the mood of "I DON'T GIVE A FLYING RATS ASS!", and almost ready to deck the next person to annoy me. Kali called a rehearsal for her recital piece tonight after orchestra got out. I was upset about this for two reasons. 1) It was a very sudden thing and she just expected us all to be there no ifs ands or buts about it. This after sending an email about availability times for Monday and Tuesday of next week. 2) This was the first time we were not only getting out of orchestra on time all semester, but early, then she expects us to stay. *Grrrrr*
Well... everything turned out okish in the end. So I guess I should stop ranting about it. Goodnight all. | | |
| Well on March 16th, Keith and I stayed up til 5 in the morning just talking about all sorts of random shit at his apartament. During the course of the discussion we decided to start dating and I could not be happier. Any time he's around I'm more relaxed. I'm free to be me. And he is the most generous, sweethearted boyfriend I could ever ask for. He opens doors for me, he always offers to pay, and is always willing to listen to what I want to do. (which is the most important) It all shows that he respects me and wants to do things for me. Its a quality that I treasure in men. Though I'm sure the opening the doors all the time will get a little tidious after a while, but at least he acts like a gentleman; and he'd better let me treat him to dinner and/or movies or whatever sometimes. I am a modern, headstrong woman afterall.
So this weekend is activation and formal. Tomorrow night I will be hanging out with my Tau family and helping to make our pledges actives of our fraternity; which is exciting to me because I have a little. She's such a sweetheart. Anyway, then the next night we go to our formal. We get all gussied up like it was prom, have dinner catored for us, socialize, and dance. All in all just have a fun time with members, alumni, and friends of Tau.
Well I've got to get to bed soon and still have an email to send out. Night all. | | |
|  | Currently Watching
Underworld - Evolution (Widescreen Special Edition)
By Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Tony Curran, Shane Brolly, Derek Jacobi, Bill Nighy, Steven Mackintosh, Brian Steele, Zita G?r?g, Scott McElroy, John Mann (VI), Michael Sheen, Sophia Myles, Richard Cetrone, Mike Mukatis, Christine Danielle, Kaja Gjesdal, Attila Lovaghy, Alexander Grant (III), Monica Hamburg
see related |
well i finally got that digital camera i've been saving for and I found it for $50 less than I'd originally had planned for which allowed me to also pick up a memory card for it too. I also found the widescreen version of Underworld Evolution for only $10 which made me really happy since those two movies are among my favorite movies.
Though as happy being able to get both of those things made me, I was constantly distracted by my thoughts all day. I thought about Keith a lot today ... again... its becoming a pretty constant thing of late as i've found. Mostly I've been thinking of how i'd like to get to know him better. From what I know so far, he seems to be a pretty nice guy and he did well around my little sisters. (one of the important things for me is how a person, whether its a friend, an acquaintance, or a possible boyfriend, treats my family, especially my little sisters.) I know that I'm probably really over protective of them, but I can't help it.
Well we'll have to see what the future brings. | | |
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What color green are you?
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You Are Emerald Green
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Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you.
Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show.
People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate.
But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.
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